Waiting for You
by Naseka
Summary: Joseph contemplates his relationship with Clarisse. Set during the second movie before the wedding. ONESHOT. Rated T to be safe, R & R


I feel such a fool thinking that I'm in a serious relationship when I know the only thing holding it together is the hope that one day my love will come to her senses and marry me.

Since the day I met Clarisse I've been in love with her. I was so infatuated with her that I was unable to stay focussed on any relationship I ever had. So it's not overall surprising that I've had tweleve fiancee's, three children and six wives. I simply can settle down with another woman.

Telling Clarisse I've been in love with her for over thirty years was the easiest thing I've ever done. Of course, I never dreamed of telling her when her husband was still alive, it would have been foolish and downright disastrous as it would have ended any hope of having her as my own. Anyway, one thing I could never do is take another man's wife away. My father always told me, 'Son, if you ever fall in love with another man's wife, keep you trap shut and wait until he dies.'

I wouldn't say I was waiting for King Rupert to die, especially since he was a good man who paid well. However when he did die, I felt too bad to simply pounce on his widow, so I decided to wait. I waited six months after his death before starting to drop hints to Clarisse that I thought of her as more than just my queen. You can't just tell a woman out of the blue that you're in love with her, you have to work with her first and do it at the perfect moment. So I slowly started weaving my way through her emotional boundaries, beginning with simple, but effective flirting.

When she was reaching for something I would reach for it as well just to brush hands with her. Obviouly at first she thought it was an accident, but as I continued she began to get suspicious, which is when she started flirting back.

Quite often she carried a fan with her when out in the gardens, she spends a lot of time in the gardens, which is where I usually see her. I would tell a joke and she would hide behind her fan and giggle, it made my heart beat faster.

The first time we really connected was at the Staff Break-up Party of 1998, she saw me attempting to dance - for the first time since my last wedding - and laughed realising I was terrible at it. When her laughter subsided, her desire to teach me grew, then she took me under her wing and guided me through the steps to one of her favourite pieces, which thanks to Mia, we now refer to as the "Wango".

Dancing with her in the ballroom for the first time made me love her even more, the closeness of it was almost overwhelming and being able to hold her in my arms, even if it was only a dance move, was the very thing that made me want to marry her.

After that night, the flirting became more serious, I would sneak up on her when she was gardening and pretend to pick her up, saying cheesy lines like, "I'm sorry, I mistook you for a rose." She was always blushing pink around me.

Also she decided to give me dance lessons just for the fun of it, which I had absolutely no objection to.

We would meet every second thrusday night in the ballroom at nine, I was always there an hour early, eagar to see, smell and touch her. With some of the dances, I felt there wasn't enough togetherness involved and we spent the whole routine at arms length - I think it was swing dancing.

The rest of the dances I felt were fairly intimate dances and there was this one where she would wrap an arm around me, hold my hand with the other, rest her head on my chest and sway from side to side...perhaps it wasn't a real dance, but it was still rather delightful. As much as I wanted to be caught up in the moment, I knew that if I allowed myself to dwell on the fact that she was in my arms I wouldn't be able to control what was going on inside my pants.

I noticed a few changes in her after we began dancing together, just little things like the way she said my name when introducing me to someone, her voice had more of a warmer tone. She started wearing scarves, something she has never been very fond of before.

Then one day Clarisse realised I had become a great dancer and our lessons came to an end. We began dancing together at balls and partys instead, which was not all bad as people got to see how good we would look as a couple. However, we still danced privately, sometimes even when there was no music to dance to.

Then along came the day I was ready to tell her my feelings. It was a warm San Franciscan day, the sun was shining and the birds were singing in the treetops. Clarisse asked me if I could teach Amelia how to dance since I was now superb at it, so I taught her, she was worse than I was at first but then she got better and went home. I looked to Clarisse and said to myself, "You're single, she's single, you're all alone together - go for it!"

So I took her in my arms and we danced to the same music we'd danced to the first time we ever danced together. It was the most romantic thing, we danced for almost ten minutes and when it ended she pressed her lips to my cheek and held them there for six and a half seconds. Then abruptly she walked away, which left me frozen on the spot and unable to say a word. I was trying to shout out my love for her as I watched her sway out of the room, but my lips wouldn't move. When I finally did come back down to earth, it was too late to say anything, the moment had gone and so had she.

However, later at the Genovian Independence Day Ball, everything fell into place.

We danced together for two hours and I wouldn't let anyone near her, she then decided she wanted to leave when Mia's friend started playing some crazy newfangled music. So we walked down the hall holding hands and we ended up on the ground floor patio. It was deserted, as all the celebrations were being held on the second floor. So it was very private, nobody around but the two of us. I told her how lovely her skin looked glistening in the moonlight, she told me how happy she was about how the evening turned out and how we'd done a good job with Amelia. I didn't want her thoughts to be on Mia at that moment, so I made a little comment in reference to something I'd said earlier, "This is not the ideal spot, but it isn't occupado."

Clarisse smiled deeply and put a hand to her face, blushing. I took both her hands and stepped closer to her, she didn't back away. Then with one simple breath in the perfect place, at the perfect moment, I whispered, "I'm in love with you."

And she just closed her eyes and replied, "I know you are, I feel the same way."

Then we kissed our first kiss and it was magical, I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her chocolate ballgown. The feel of her soft white gloves on my neck was overwhelming, I turned bright red, felt my cheeks burning, felt my pants tightening - thankfully, this went unnoticed by the queen.

When the kiss was broken I found it hard to tear myself away from her, yet the grandfather clock inside struck twelve and it was time for her majesty to get some rest. So I walked her to her suite and gave her a peck on the cheek, rather than the usual kiss on the hand, and didn't see her until the next morning where she kept blushing over breakfast.

So as I said, telling her I loved her was the easy part, the hard part is getting commitment from her. I've asked her at least seven times over the past five years when she's going to let me into the light, but she always comes up with some plausable excuse, it's so hard to convince her.

We've been in this secret relationship for five years, yet we've only really kissed half a dozen times. We kissed on her birthday in the dark corridor late at night, we kissed on my birthday in the privacy of the security room, we kissed at the airport once when we were waiting in our private waiting room, then on new years after everybody left we kissed again in the middle of the ballroom. The last time I remember being kissed was when I returned from holidaying in France, I went to say hello to her and she practically flew into my arms. Now spread that out over five years, it equals to about one kiss per year! I guess not kissing each other often is good in a way, it means every kiss is like the first one, new and exciting. Also it makes it more meaningful and satisfying as we don't experience it all that often.

As good as not kissing can be, it's also quite irritating because I love intimacy and I need it more than once a year. I don't know how Clarisse can go without kissing me for months on end, I find it maddening. Sometimes I think she's leading me on, that she doesn't really want a relationship with me, she just wants...I don't know what she wants. Frankly I don't think she knows what she wants either.

Lately I've been wishing I'd never fallen in love with a royal. It's just so hard to find privacy and Clarisse is always worried that she'll open up the paper one morning and a photo of us kissing or touching will jump out at her. I wish she would just admit to the world that we are in love, we always have been, and we always will be. I realise that if we did marry, she would have very little time to spend with me during the day, which is potentially problematic, but I don't care as long as I get her full attention in the evening. I want to be able to hold, kiss, make love to her whenever I want.

I just have to keep my hope alive and maybe one day she will allow me to be acknowleged and we'll marry and live happily ever after, just the two of us.

I mean, what's life without someone to share it with?

* * *

I watched PD1 for the first time in ages the other day and wanted to write how I think the relationship between Joseph and Clarisse **really** would have happened - it's a much more realistic way than every other story I've written.

I started this a few days ago, hoping to finish it within a few hours, yet somehow it's taken days instead of hours. Take note, this is a ONE-SHOT. And PLEASE review or I'll cry ;)


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